Being married is hard work! When you got married you probably said something that resembled the traditional marriage vows:
'I will LOVE and COMFORT you,...FORSAKING ALL OTHERS, keep unto you as long as we both shall live..., to LOVE and CHERISH you until...'
Did you really realise what you were getting into? What was going through your mind when you were heartily reciting those vows? Bible says, "For this cause shall a man (generic) leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Other renditions say:
"For this reason a man (generic) will leave his father and mother and HOLD FAST TO HIS WIFE and the TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. BSB Version.
, "... and be UNITED WITH HIS WIFE..."; "...and be JOINED TO HIS WIFE..."; "...and be CLEAVED TO HIS WIFE...".
NOTE:
There cannot be cleaving if there is no leaving. There cannot be hold unto if there is no leaving. There cannot be united to if there is no leaving. There cannot be join unto if there is no leaving. The instructions or orders is; leave to hold fast or leave in order to hold fast. Leave to cleave or leave in order to cleave.
HAVE YOU LEFT?
HAVE YOU CLEAVED?
The last time I attended a wedding ceremony I could not fathom I did made this marriage vow to my wife because I did not really appreciate it's seriousness until I sat back and listened to the newly married couples. Most people recite it amidst laughter, sobbing, and spontaneous clattering from musical instrument and shouts of unspeakable joy from heaven and earth. But does the couple really understand the vow "...FORSAKING ALL OTHERS...'? As instructed in Ephesians 5:31 'you must leave (ALL OTHERS including father and mother) to cleave unto your spouse.' Leaving in this context goes beyond physical leaving. You MUST leave physically, psychologically, emotionally, 'materially' and all forms of actions and inactions that links us to the ALL OTHERS mentioned in the marriage vow. 'Materially' in the sense that must you carry along gifts that constantly and remotely remind you of a past illicit and immoral affair or of a person you got involved with sexually? What are the moral justification for such an attachment to such gifts and memories as it were? There have been unffair and unholy comparison of your spouse to someone who lived and is still living mentally in your past. THERE CANNOT BE CLEAVING my dear if you don't leave. The ALL OTHERS have moved on, so why hang unto thoughts that steals your joy and fulfillment in your marriage? Some cannot have orgasm without nursing such immoral affairs when physically having affair with their spouse. This is unacceptable and amounts to cheating. "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful INTENT has already committed ADULTERY WITH HER IN HIS HEART; Mathew 5:28.
Our thought life is brought into scrutiny and questioned by the scriptures in Mathew 5:28. We are quick to say I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am perfect, I am the light of the world, I am the head but not the tail, I am a new creation, a product of the Infallible WORD OF GOD. I know who I am; as He is, SO AM I in this world. I am rich et cetera. But when it comes to putting our body into check until we put on the immortal body during the second coming of Christ we are quick to say, ' THE CHURCH IS NOT FOR PERFECT PEOPLE'. It's full of imperfect people who are being perfected. It is the sick who needs a physician. Why the double standards? You are the righteousness of God and have been called unto perfection in one instance and then in the next instance the plea of imperfection is raised to justify your immorality?
The marriage bed MUST be kept HOLY and not be defiled.
Your thought life MUST be clean and pure of things which cannot be discussed with any other person especially your spouse. Father God, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit including the host of heaven and humanity were witnesses to the marriage vows. Satan and his cohorts enters through the lacuna in the union (me/I/self). Please if you meet anyone who says "it's my life so leave me alone", quickly cause his or her arrest. Such a person is a threat to him or herself, to his or her family, to society and humanity at large. It can never be you as whatever you do or happens to you affects everyone else.
It cannot be his way or her way: THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE. The WORD OF GOD is your common ground. Bible says, "We all, like a sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all, Isaiah 53:6. So it cannot be our ways but His. He was in the beginning with God and He was God and became Flesh and dwelt amongst us. So go for the WORD OF GOD, not your way or his/hers. Marriage was instituted by God and He gave us His WORD to guide this holy and noble institution. Husband wants to have his way and wife wants to have her way. NO, not his nor hers.
Happy Marriage Anniversary my dear. The LOVE is really really there.
Bro Ritchie Edukwesi WOANYA
